late night thoughts

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Miley Cyrus - Adore you

Dear blog,
Do you know what I need right now? A very good facial treatment. Yes, exactly. I really need to pamper myself before going back to college. And another thing is, I want to buy Nicholas Sparks' new collections. They are so tempting I wish I have lots of money. Sigh. 10 days have passed since 2014 started and as expected, I am still me. College starts in few days and I dont know should I feel excited to meet my friends and begin semester 3 or be sad that holiday is over. Well maybe I am just in between. There are so many things in my mind tonight and guess what? I just uploaded two pictures on facebook in a day and who the hell still upload their picture on facebook. Lol that shows how lifeless am I. Things between me & lover boy is going quiet well this time. Second time might be the lucky charm, who knows? He may be annoying, yes very annoying and hot-tempered(sorry baby) but despite of all his flaws, he is the one that I choose and I love. The one that I want to be with as long as I can. Never been in love like I am right now that I just fall deep and loving it. Never put this much time and efforts before but I do now. His happiness is mine. That sounds so cheezy but what is wrong of being cliche sometimes. Hehe. But they say, "Dont hope too much or you'll end up bad". So no high expectations, just going with flow. Two people who are meant to be will find their way back to each other, am I right or am I right? If it is not meant, no matter how hard I do things will never work out between us. That is one fact of life & fate that I have to accept. God knows what is He doing and what He plans is the best for me. The problem now is when you have to choose between your boy and your friends. I wish I never have to ever choose, that I can keep it simple balance. But life is not fair sometimes. The scariest thing I could think of right now is when my friends think that I abandon them. Something like "Dah ada boyfriend, lupa kawan". There is no such things. We all need our friends in the end. I apologize if I ever hurt anyone's feelings whether it is intentionally or not. Another thing is that sometimes I wonder, why do I have to grow up if that means I am drifting apart from my parents. It is so sad though. The fact that no one could ever replace them in any ways, that I could not imagine myself losing them. They are my strength and forever will be.
May God bless us all, amin. 

sum up of 2013

 

Dear blog,

It is a new year and time to start again. New Year's Eve celebration was one hell of night, spent it with my lover boy. A very good start for the year and I have a good feeling that 2014 will be a good year. Well hopefully. As I walked out from 2013, I know if don't throw away all the anger and hatred behind, I would still stuck in that prison. As I am turning 19 this year, I really hope that I would change to a better person. 

• get good grades
• act mature
• be a good daughter to mum&dad

2013 is a year that I will never forget. Few years back, I would never thought I will become this person. Sometimes, it made me think that there has nothing to be proud of. It was a year with full of joy and tears, a year with ups and downs, and definitely a year full of lessons, taught me to be wise in thinking. Many memories were made, many dreams came true and many goals were achieved(well not really). Started a new life in college and met amazing people throughout the year. Never thought I would find someone and can love him this much. Ikmal Azree was the greatest gift for last year and I hope I can keep him in the upcoming years. 2013 also made me realized that I am actually tired hurting my parents' feelings that I feel like going away if that makes things better. I dont want to be a bad daughter, at the same time I still want to explore the world. Forgive me for what have I become,mum and dad. I promise you time heals everything. Friends that stay with me through thick and thin are the best I could ever ask for, and those who left I wish you the best. It was a wonderful year, a year I would never forget. Thank you 2013, thank you for everything.