Friday, February 13, 2015


Dear blog,
He is home, but not my home anymore. When things were bad for me, he made me feel better without even trying. I know we haven't seen each other for quite a while now, even though we are going separate ways now, I want you to know that I miss you. Not that I regret of what happened or wanna see you again, I just miss you. 
Just, I miss you.
It's so strange to think that I knew someone so well that now is a total stranger to me. That sometimes I go entire day without thinking about you, most of the time I let myself forget because it is easier that way, but then I find something, a photo, a song or my stupid notes and the thought of what is gone crashing down on me, all over again. Sometimes you came into my dream, I didn't even remember what happened in it but I woke up with tears and that is probably the worst feeling ever.
Part of me wants to see you again, to hold you but all of those feelings become empty thoughts. Remembering back of what happened, love is not as what it seems, makes me easier to forget. But this isn't regret, we had our reason of ending it, and it was as valid as ever, but back at the start we didn't choose who fall in love with. I didn't even need a reason to fall in love with you, I just did. 
The reasons came at the end. Everything sense comes with reasons and that's good, that one day I will find someone I dont have to say goodbye to. But a part of me just misses loving someone and getting loved back. That's all.
What I was trying to say is, I hope things are good with you. I hope things are great. I hope you'll achieve your dreams. I hope one day you'll find a love that ours couldn't be. But just a small part of me hopes that you still remember everything before all the reasons.
A friend of mine told me, you said you have given up when you actually never did. But one day, when everything comes to your sense, you don't even realize that you already give up. Time heals everything. No regrets, just lesson learned. When this happened, it made me a whole new different person. Ive changed the way I think and the way I accept things. For good.