Clueless

Dear blog,
Boys are so unpredictable. They are full of things, unexpected things to be exact.
I just don't know how to play this game anymore. So clueless about this.
Don't fucking get attached to anyone, just don't.
But I can't help this feelings. How do I undo this feelings? Its impossible.
I hope I can read his mind. I hope I know if he wants to continue.
Or to stop. Don't leave me hanging, questioning about you. Fuck off!
Actually I am writing this because I don't have a punching bag at home.
When do actually things get right? When?
Everything seems wrong. All the fucking time & I am tired. 
When am I going to finally meet someone that actually cares about my feelings?
Been single for a year. To be honest, I never really had a real boyfriend.
I mean I never had a real boyfriend that treats me like a real girlfriend.
I never fell deeply in love, if you know what I mean.
It's like, no first love? Ever.
Fuck off! Hahahahahahaha life please get better, I am tired.
I just miss my long hair. Chow