Day 2

Dear blog,
My first day of classes went well & I met some cool people (thank God). I am beyond happy because my class on Monday starts at 12, how can I not be happy? So, I think it should not be a problem here as I can actually adapt with them. BUT the only thing I hate living in UTP is the hot weather. Plus we have to walk to classes and by the time we reach the classes, we are sweating God knows how. I was hoping that I'll get the car asap, it will be much more easier. I miss my mum and my dad and my home and my family. And my friends. We will be having a carnival tomorrow for Petroleum Geoscience's students so its gonna be so much fun and fun! I hope so. 

Life is unexpected, always. When my heart started to heal, then suddenly came a man out of nowhere and it feels different this time. He cares, he loves and he is just different. There is no hopes given, but I was hoping that this is the time. I need someone that can change me. I want to be a better person. And he is just lovely. 
Me/him : "I like yellow" "I like you" "Well, I think I like you too" "I like you more" "What makes you say that?" "Because you like me" This made my night.

Day 1

Dear blog,
I keep telling myself to stay strong. I keep telling myself that I can do this, because I know I can. It is my first night in Universiti Teknologi Petronas and I am taking Foundation in Petroleum Geoscience. Sounds tough, I know. But this is what I have to go through in my life. This is my fate. My first class is tomorrow and I am nervous like hell god knows. I hope everything would be just fine. The timetable is confusing as fuck. And I really hope I can survive living here. It feels like my first day in SMSS. Same shit but different place. Nervous, confused & scared. Well, this is a new beginning. I have to be more independent and mature. One year.... One year is not that long and yes I can do this. I always have faith in myself. InsyaAllah, wish me luck people.

Eighteen

Dear blog,

Turning 18 in few hours, so excited.

& I have the best teenage life I could ever wish 😘

Clueless

Dear blog,
Boys are so unpredictable. They are full of things, unexpected things to be exact.
I just don't know how to play this game anymore. So clueless about this.
Don't fucking get attached to anyone, just don't.
But I can't help this feelings. How do I undo this feelings? Its impossible.
I hope I can read his mind. I hope I know if he wants to continue.
Or to stop. Don't leave me hanging, questioning about you. Fuck off!
Actually I am writing this because I don't have a punching bag at home.
When do actually things get right? When?
Everything seems wrong. All the fucking time & I am tired. 
When am I going to finally meet someone that actually cares about my feelings?
Been single for a year. To be honest, I never really had a real boyfriend.
I mean I never had a real boyfriend that treats me like a real girlfriend.
I never fell deeply in love, if you know what I mean.
It's like, no first love? Ever.
Fuck off! Hahahahahahaha life please get better, I am tired.
I just miss my long hair. Chow

Faith

Dear blog,
My heart told me to keep the faith.
I have been holding on too long to give up now.
It doesn't matter if he's with me or not.
I am happy just to see him, oh my god what kind of diseases are this?
I just love him. So much that I don't care anymore if I get hurt.